Saunain'

Another weekend, another first, this time as authentically Korean as it gets. Jjimjilbang.

A jjimjilbang is a public spa/sauna. You pay a pretty reasonable price to get in the door and then all the sauna rooms and hot tubs are free. You get a little scanable bracelet that charges you for any additional services, which you use in lieu of carrying your wallet around, what with being semi-naked and enjoying some hot, steamy, bath related action. What kind of "additional services" you ask? How about massage chairs, holmes! You feeling that? Get yourself all loosened up by a steaming hot sauna, then when you go back out to the main room, have a chair run it's wubbly knobs all over you back. MMmm-hmmm. Oh yeah. The chair loves you. You love the chair. You're just a couple of cool cats finding love in the unlikeliest of places. In a chair.

Jjimjilbangs have been around forever in Korea. There are references to them in court documents from King Sejong, this king from 500 years ago who was basically the dopest pimp in the history of Korea. If he was doing it, it must have been the thing to do. And that remains true to this day. Jjimjilbangs are among the most popular form of recreation in Korea, especially for families. There are typically arcade rooms and other kid-friendly stuff, so mom and dad can drop off the little ones and then go relax on their own. Even in the middle of the afternoon on a weekend, the main hall area will be surprisingly crowded, and at night, the place is packed. People often stay overnight, sleeping on the heated floors, and the main area will be simply crowded with bodies. Careful not to step on anyone on your way to the toilet! I could never sleep at one of these places though. Too noisy, and the floor is too hard to sleep. I opted for the sunrise subway myself.

Oh! One more thing. The jjimjilbang we went to had a restaurant on the top floor called “Indian Barbecue Café” or something like that. I was imagining, based on the name that it was Indian food, like curry and whatnot, except with barbecued meat. Nope. The “Indian” in that title refers to American Indians—Native Americans. O…K. Not sure if I can name a lot of cuisine in that category. Corn? I guess?
In any case, the restaurant featured a few statues in full on Indian caricature mode. Like straight up, “Holy mother of Choctaw, that is some racist shit” type statues. You see this stuff now and again around here. Racial stereotypes are no big deal, it seems. I would have been a lot more surprised if the décor wasn’t off the wall offensive. Here’s a story for you: I asked kids in an elementary school class if they knew anything about Africa. The response? “Oh, Africa… OOGA BOOGA OOGA BOOGA!” Yikes.

Till next time,

Randy